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11 ways Magic Mike ruins the real world for you.

───   12:44 Sat, 04 Jul 2015

11 ways Magic Mike ruins the real world for you. | News Article
 
 Magic Mike XXL is arriving in cinemas today and, in the words of the most apt tag-line in movie history: You’re welcome.

But you might experience a strange unreal sensation when you leave the cinema: All the men in the street will be clothed. None of them will be gyrating for your entertainment, or oiling themselves up. You may experience shock, and struggle to readjust to reality.

Fear not – here’s a breakdown of all the ways Magic Mike ruins the real world for you, so that you can prepare yourself for the post-cinema come-down.

Most men can’t dance like Channing Tatum

Ol’ Channing ain’t just a pretty face – he’s a pretty good mover too. But if you go out expecting some guy to sling you expertly round the dance floor, you’ll be disappointed.

Actual male strippers are not this good

If you try to ease your withdrawal symptoms by heading off to a live strip show, you’ll just end up feeling kind of awkward and embarrassed for everyone involved.

No-one real looks like this

Seriously NO-ONE.

In real life, this is not a good look

Keep reminding yourself that if a guy marched up to you in a bar dressed like this, you’d laugh til you peed.

Undressing is actually pretty hard

You’ve got shoes with laces and those stupid flies that are buttons rather than zips and you expect a guy to look sexy while getting out of those things? Sorry, no.

‘Murica

This, I am assured, is not actually how Americans celebrate the Fourth of July, so you can cancel those plane tickets right now.

This won’t happen in your local Co-Op

So don’t hang around the drinks aisle with your hopes up.

This is not appropriate behaviour

It’s actually pretty much frowned upon. Consent is key, ladies.

This is not what happens in garages

Movies just keeping lying to us about the sexiness of welding.

Guys will not just rip their shirts off for your entertainment


Sometimes men like their shirts and want to keep them in one piece, and you should respect their choices.

STOP THE OBJECTIFICATION!

 
 
 
Source: Metro UK

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