Let’s consider how everybody could be unhappy thinking about what ought to have been while neglecting what is.

When I feel slightly down, I tend to do the same as other people; visit a watering hole, have a drink and some pizza then reflect on what’s bothering me. In particular I tend to go to a little joint we call Mystic, not because the drinks are special or the pizza is good but because of the weird yet interesting regalia all over. Those of you who are also frequent patrons will know that isolating one favourite piece between the TV screen constantly showing Cruy-Cruy and the Bully Beef lamps amongst everything else is exceptionally difficult. There is, however one piece that holds a lot of meaning, perhaps not to you or to me, but to the staff who work there.

Towards the entrance there’s a showcase of knifes, each belonging to a different, retired bartender, each with its own identity and stories behind it. Each barman gets a blunt knife to open bottles which over the years become personalised and the elite bartenders who leave the place with a legacy, leave their knifes on that wall.

For years I’ve wanted to have my own knife up there. Not because I want to write my name into the history books of a bar in Bloemfontein, but because it represents something bigger; the lifestyle, the friendships made, the bar stories heard and told, the lessons learnt and of course the irreplaceable memories made.

This isn’t a very uncommon story though. Most people tend to view what’s outside of them as better. For some reason, satisfaction tends to elude us when we witness the satisfaction of others that could have been ours. Alas, I am not the awesome barman at Mystic who has the craziest times and exceptional fun for I am too busy pursuing my law degree, leading a student body and proving the world wrong on every level. I don’t think I really have the time to do what I’m telling myself I’d rather be doing. However, the more I think about it, the more I realise my knife is on a wall, a few in fact. They may not be very tangible or visible but they are there, ever present. People tend not to acknowledge that about themselves.

Those that do though, try to make it a matter of better and worse. Very few people will admit that the CEO isn’t better than the guy who cooks his food or flies him to other countries. As soon as we get over this misguided impression of better and worse and accept things and people in a manner of being different, the happier we’ll all be. Can the CEO cook his favourite meal? Statistically, no! Can the CEO fly a plane? Statistically, no! Is the CEO really better than the people he relies on in order to function? Realistically, no! Now that you’ve (hopefully) understood that nobody is better than you, only different, you should be slightly happier ??? This should remove the impulse to do too many things so that you “outdo” other people.

Remember, that that wall is reserved for people who excel in what they do and, un/fortunately, in order to excel, one has to be dedicated. Dedication requires focus and focus is not something easily divided. Pick a life, live it and excel. Picking the wrong life is not as terrible as living one in regret; you’ll still have a lifestyle, friends, stories (even bar stories if you know where to go), learn lessons and make memories. They won’t be the same as in your parallel universe but hey, nothing really is.



Up to now I’ve been trying to avoid the cliché’d “grass is always greener” phrase because it’s not exactly what I’m trying to illustrate although it can be said to be a part of it.

There’s a movie from 1976 which I highly recommend titled Network where a news anchor rants on about problems of the world which he is helpless to fix. In truth we’re in a similar situation; we’re helpless in wanting to live (or at least taste) the multiple lives we experience around us. He ends his rant with “I’m a human being….my life has value”.

I first watched it when I was still in school. The film was created more than a decade before I was born but still there has yet to be a single line I’m to hear with words more powerful than that.

We all have our knifes and have the capacity to determine where we’re going to place them. For most, maybe God has a role to play too. There’s very little in denying that we have that capacity, influenced or not. Our satisfaction lies in placing those knifes on the walls we create, on the walls we desire or on the walls we see fit and not looking back at what could have been. What could have been most likely can no longer be, but what can be … that’s another story; a story you should persue.

So place your knife on a wall and dedicate yourself to it, lest you be left in eternal purgatory and exceptionally frustrated with life with a knife in your hand. Pursue your own friendships, lifestyle and lessons and not those of another. Why? Because you’re human being and your life has value.