Offbeat
Who needs productivity when you’ve got priorities?─── 15:21 Thu, 06 Nov 2025
How to look incredibly busy at work — while you're doing the important stuff like booking your December holiday, buying Christmas gifts, and planning that legendary braai.
Tip 1: The Spreadsheet of Lies
Make a massive Excel sheet titled “Q4 Budget Forecast” — but it’s actually your braai shopping list. Add a few graphs, and suddenly it’s strategic analysis.
Tip 2: Alt+Tab Olympics
Be ready to switch from Takealot to Excel faster than your boss can say “quick chat.” That’s not slacking — that’s elite multitasking.
Tip 3: The Visual Busy Buffer
Always keep a random graph open on your screen. Nobody knows what it means — but it definitely looks important.
Tip 4: The Printer Pilgrimage
Print something every now and then so you can walk through the office looking purposeful. It’s not wasting time — it’s maintaining visibility.
Tip 5: The Calendar Alibi
Block off time for “Client Report Review”. Translation: “Scrolling through Airbnbs in Margate.”
Remember, it’s not slacking off… it’s strategic personal development!
* Disclaimer - Use these with extreme caution, it may be silly season, but your silliness can also affect your year-end bonus.
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