It lies in how hard it makes you think about life. Just the other day I was reminiscing and listening to a beautiful soul-soothing mind-relaxing record by Barry White, titled "Practice what you preach". What a beautiful song this is. This song hit home because I found myself in it. I found myself relating to the confusion and sadness that Barry White was experiencing when he penned that song down...

It got me thinking about just how people will preach to you about how well they will treat, love and care for you if you give them a chance but when shove comes to the push... "DOLOLO" action. It got me wondering just how much people speak greatly of themselves and their capabilities and abilities during job interviews but when the real ground begins after you hire them; they're the first to remind you about their tea and lunch break; forgetting that during the interview, they spoke about how hard working and dedicated they are; so much so that they even forget to eat. So much for hard work and dedication, though.

Ladies and gentlemen, the painful truth is that people don't practice what they preach. Make peace with it and find a way to navigate yourself around this sad reality. Don't fight it; that battle is not yours to fight, but the individual's. It is often times said, especially by ladies, that "a leopard never changes its spots". This is the most famous line used by ladies but the painful truth here is that most women are stuck in abusive relationships because they believe that their leopard will change its spots and stop hitting her like a punching bag. Ladies, let's get this one straight; once a man lays his hand on you, best believe that; there's no turning back from that one. He will never stop beating you up until you're six feet under the ground. Once he lays his hand on you; get it into your madly in love head that; "a leopard will never change its spots" and WALK AWAY before you are carried away from him in a coffin!

There's a Sotho saying that says "nnete ya hlaba"...meaning "truth is painful". But that doesn't mean we should shy away telling people the truth simply because it's painful. Here's one thing about me; I'll never ever comfort you with a lie, I'd rather hurt you with the truth and make you a better person than lie to you and let you continue being a fool.

So allow me to hurt you with the truth:

My dear brother and sister, let's quickly get this one out of the way: The world owes you absolutely NOTHING. No one in this world owes you anything. You came into this world alone and you will sadly die and leave alone. So anything that you desire in life; you have to demand it from yourself. We can't keep on breeding a lazy generation of people that sees government as an ATM where they can just go and withdraw money instead of building a sustainable business to benefit even the future generations. The country's population grows drastically each and every day while our economy is stagnant. That means sooner or later; the government is going to reach a melting point where it doesn't have a cake to distribute to its people anymore. If we are going to progress as a society; we need to start empowering ourselves. Like a wise man once said: "Give a man a fish and feed him for the day. But teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." My friend, no one, and I mean absolutely no one has ever drowned in their own sweat and died. We need to start taking charge and control of our own lives and stop depending on the government. You can't love a lion and even go as far as seeing yourself as a Lion yet be lazy to hunt. No, you can't disgrace and drag the name of the King of the jungle through the mud like that.

Those who know me very well will tell you just how much I love saying that "love is the most beautiful thing ever". The beauty of it lies in that feeling of contentment of loving someone and being loved just as much in return.

 But to this beautiful rose called love too, there are thorns. So allow me to throw you into those thorns and tell you the painful truth about relationships:

They are not always what you see in movies. Stop living in a fairytale world of romantic movies and come back to reality. Listen, I am not saying that you should not aspire to write a truly beautiful love story of your own life but just don't be fooled into believing that a relationship is always a smooth sail. It's not. Sometimes that love that once came naturally and effortlessly will be hard to find and you will find yourself wondering if this love thing really exists. Look, if you are an emotional wreck because of a past relationship; stay away from a new relationship. A relationship is not a place where you go find and fix yourself but rather a union where you give wholeheartedly to the one you love and for as long as you are broken, without having healed from the past, you won't be able to fully give the best of yourself to your loved one. Stop getting over someone by always jumping into bed with every skirt or trouser that passes by. Heal. A relationship is not a mechanic's service place; where you go and get fixed.

Can we talk about money?! I mean, duh! Who does not love having money?! In this age and lifetime; we can't overlook just how important money is; it helps to address and solve problems that need financial attention in life. But the painful truth in life is that you can't throw money at every problem and expect a solution. Money will definitely excite you to take that job that pays well, but sadly, it won't maintain/sustain your passion for that job. Money will certainly attract certain women but it won't make them love you. She can stay with you for 100 years just because of that financial benefit, while she happily fools around on the side using that very same money with another man who has nothing. You can give your children tons of money; buy them expensive cars and mansions but soon enough reality will hit them and they will realise that no amount of money will ever compensate for the time you never had for them; for that shaky relationship that they have with you; and they will know from that moment - money is important, but it's not everything. There are things in life that are far more important than money. It's good to have money and everything and anything that it can buy you; but it's more important to make sure that, in the process, you don't lose the things that money can't buy you.

The painful truth that is...

Fannie Zim is a practising and Admitted Attorney of the High Court of South Africa.