This powerful quote reminds me of a song by the great Peter Gabriel feat Kate Bush - Don't give up. A song about a man who lost everything in life, was on a brink of committing suicide and found no reason for his continued existence. He woke up every morning and had the following foods on his menu: Breakfast he had a succulent regret served with icy cold misery; for lunch he had yummy stress topped with savoury fillings of what if; and for dinner, he had a crusty crunchy chunky chunk of worrying dipped in sleepless nights.

Sitting in my car, playing some soulful sounds peacefully soothing my soul, as thoughts flood my mind, writing this piece. I can't help but wonder how many millions and probably billions of people out there are having the same daily meals too.

I can't help but wonder why we're so HARD on ourselves. Why do we beat ourselves up so badly when the world on its own can be so harsh and cruel towards us? But it's not long before I realise that the idea of being PERFECT HUMAN BEINGS has brought us so much pain and suffering. That idea has lead so many people to undergo countless surgeries with the hope of looking a certain way; it has lead so many people straight into the drop-off pit of pretentious lifestyle, all in the name of appearing and looking perfect. 

We do and say things just so that we can live up to people’s expectations and appear perfect in their eyes. Men and women go extra miles to be “perfect” partners to their significant others. Yes, it's good to go an extra mile and show someone how much they mean to you, but in doing so, don’t lose yourself. You not and will never be perfect.

Because you are a normal being, you will feel pain when someone you love breaks your heart; you will feel awful and hurt when someone you trusted with everything, betrays you. You will feel bad when you fail. And you will wish that life had a rewind button so that you could turn back the hands of time and undo certain things or basically do things differently... You will wish you could resurrect your loved one who is no longer with us, but all of that will sadly remain what it is... an impossible wish!

Pain is a fundamental element that we hate to feel. When you were just a kid, the worst pain you could experience is to fall down and hurt yourself, as a result you cried. However, you grow older and you're now exposed to different forms of pain. Physical (bumping your toe on the corner of the wall), mental (stress), and emotional (having your first heartbreak). Allow yourself to feel that pain because it is that very same pain that makes you a stronger person. Don’t be too good for your own good. Allow yourself to heal when hurting instead of bandaging the pain and pretend as if you're not hurt, disappointed and feeling miserable all because you suffer from “what will people say” syndrome.

Everybody makes mistakes; it is a fact of life. Somewhere along the line, everybody is going to make a bad decision or do something they know they should not have done. At times, we often do not realise we are doing something wrong until we get hurt by it, or hurt someone else. Making a mistake does not make you any less human; failing does not make you a failure; hurting and crying does not mean you're weak... for it's what you do or what happens to you that defines you, but rather what you do afterwards.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. I mean, how else will you learn, grow and be able to distinguish right from wrong if you don’t make mistakes? But most importantly, LEARN from them. Pain? That’s a sad inevitable part of life. You will get hurt, probably and definitely not once, and it will be painful every time it happens because it will happen unexpectedly and come in a different way, under different circumstances and from different people/things. We can't and won't get used to pain. But we can certainly accept that it's here to stay and learn to live with it. Anger? You will get angry, fume and feel so much rage that you will want to strangle someone... it's all part of life. 

However, don’t ever let anger consume and control you. Don’t express anger, communicate it. Let it out so that you can live your life from a peaceful joyful heart.

Don’t forget.....

...at the end of the day... you're only human!

Fannie Zim is an admitted and practising attorney of the High Court of South Africa, practising at Zim Attorneys Incorporated.

Special recognition to Fellow Nthejane for her contribution to this article.